A Medical Marihuana Delivery driver told the police, his pot was stolen by two ninjas. I don’t have a joke for that story … I just love California!
— Conan O’Brien
Big news from Austria!
In Austria a new Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Museum has opened up.
Actually two opened up … but no one knows about the second one. — Conan O’Brien
In Austria a new Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Museum has opened up.
Actually two opened up … but no one knows about the second one. — Conan O’Brien
Madonna is banned from my show. A life-time ban. She is bloody annoying. She is banned because of […] crimes against the british accent.
— Piers Morgan on “Conan”
A hotel in the United Arab Emirates has unveiled the most expensive christmas-tree ever, valued at a 11 million dollars.
I never thought I’d say this … but folks, I believe the United Arab Emirates has lost sight of the true meaning of christmas. — Conan O’Brien — “Conan”
I never thought I’d say this … but folks, I believe the United Arab Emirates has lost sight of the true meaning of christmas. — Conan O’Brien — “Conan”
Yesterday a snowball-fight turned into a 500-person brawl, in Germany.
Out of habit France immediately surrendered. — Conan O’Brien — “Conan”
Out of habit France immediately surrendered. — Conan O’Brien — “Conan”
“I wanna first ask you about this royal wedding. In this country, people were discussing it … but we really don’t know what’s going on. Prince William … Kate Middleton … I guess they are engaged now … what are your thoughts on this, as a subject of the british crown?”
“Yes, you are correct. I am a subject of the british crown, so I am an expert on this topic. Thank god, you came to me! Let’s clear up this hullabaloo … this rumor mongering … these scare tactics … and say what this is: The aristocracy are planning to clutter their genitals at each other … but first they swap expensive jewels. It is a custom.”
“Ah. This is how you do it, in your country?”
“That’s right. Then there will be a new king.”
— Conan O’Brien and Russell Brand on “Conan”
